january 14,1991

ahhhh oh my gosh!!! im freaking out so much right now!! im SEVENTEEN!! that seems so old! i dont want to grow up!!! ah im going to miss being sixteen. oh well. one more year of childhood is left..

the devil came on horseback documentary.

i dont even know what to say. im almost ashamed that here i am, sitting in my three bedroom 2 and a half bath with two animals and a closet full of clothes. i go to school everyday and the last thing on my mind is the fear of losing my life. i dont even think ive ever been in a situation where i was really going to lose it. not that im worried, ill be with Jesus. but the fact that im so protected, so safe. while thousands of girls and boys my age right now are being murdered in sudan. their moms, their brothers, their dads, their uncles. people like you and me. i dont know what to do. and i know that Jesus is so much bigger than it all, but i just get so sad when i think that were standing here watching hundreds of thousands of innocent sudanese christians get slaughtered. were standing here, in america. and what kills me is that the sudanese people think that were there for them. one man said he prays for america, hes so thankful for what they are doing. but most americans dont know or dont care about whats happening a continent away on africa. is this what God's called us to do? the only thing i have comfort in is that i know that God sees them, and He loves each and every precious life that has been brually taken. oh, but if it could only end. please have mercy Jesus...

when the saints

such an amazing song! i dont know how long it will be up there, but go here and download the song, its free http://www.ijm.org/NETCOMMUNITY/page.redir?target=http%3a%2f%2fphobos.apple.com%2fWebObjects%2fMZStore.woa%2fwa%2fviewAlbum%3fid%3d267224087%26s%3d143441&srcid=22357&srctid=1&erid=2088672 .
its honestly so good. i can't get over it

one of the weirdest things ive ever seen...

...anyone else confused? i really was, so much that i had to take a picture

i got tagged by katie.. haha

just noticed. okay, well...
1. ive never been trick or treating. next wednesday is my...16th year of NOT trick or treating? cool
2. i used to be a big tom boy. i cut my hair really short and wore baggy clothes and me and my other "tom boy" friends would argue if we should call ourselves tom girls or tom boys. my now best friend beckie wore dresses and when she would ask to play with us wed say "no 'cause dresses are girly girl!" yay for second grade!!
3. i fell on a treadmill in 7th grade and still have the scars. it hurt so bad!
4. i was on a plane 6 times the summer before my 8th grade year. cali-florida-panama-florida-cali-costa rica-cali
5.when i was little i would pretend to give God a kiss and a hug before i went to bed and id say goodnight to the angels around me :)
6.I ABSOLUTELY HATE GREEN BEANS. and i went to a little ladies dinner at beckies uncles church and a lady scooped a huge pile of them onto my plate and said "i made them myself, theyre delicious!" wouldnt have been bad, but then she came and sat next to me and made sure i ate them. when she wasnt looking id put them on beckies plate, but she made sure she saw me eat them. it was awful
7.i talk to my dog and cat when im alone.
well, i have no clue who's going to read this and who to tag. sooo if you havent done this then i tag you!

i

really dont like awkward, incredibly uncomfortable, conversations. and then you wish you had said something else but you only knew what came to your head when it happened cause it was just so weird. and people yelling at you from their cars(well, not when i know them of course) and especially when they happen right after eachother.
butttttt its okay!!!
learn learn learn
like paul, i think it was paul, that said, let your speech always be with grace, as if seasoned with salt, so you will know how to respond to each person. ohhhh Lord i need that!

Rami Khader Ayyad.

http://www.opendoorsusa.org/content/view/287/139/
go there to view the article. he left behind his pregnant wife and two young sons as well. i dont know if ill ever be able to fully understand the middle east conflict, but i do know these people are our brothers and sisters in Christ. why arent we helping them more? if youve heard of Brother Andrew's latest book, Light Force( im just beginning it, my mom just finished it) when you get to the end youll read about a young man named Rami who was ready to do anything for the Lord. this is the same man. and he was the owner of the same bookshop mentioned in Light Force, the only christian bookshop in Gaza. my mom and I were talking about the book when i mentioned the article i had read from my sisters blog about a young palestinian bookstore owner that was murdered, and my mom realized this was the same Rami from Light force.
his family needs our prayer.
christian palestinians need our prayer.